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November 20 Some jokes on economists (zz)I believe that even Adam Smith would enjoy these jokes.
1. "Economics is the only field in which two people can share a Nobel Prize for saying opposing things." Specifically, Myrdal and Hayek shared one.
2. (1) Bentley's second Law of Economics: The only thing more dangerous than an economist is an amateur economist!!!
(2) Berta's Fundamental Law of Economic Rents.. "The only thing more dangerous than an amateur economist is a professional economicst"
3. Three econometricians went out hunting, and came across a large deer. The first econometrician fired, but missed, by a meter to the left. The second econometrician fired, but also missed, by a meter to the right. The third econometrician didn't fire, but shouted in triumph, "We got it! We got it!"
4. Q:Why did God create economists ?
A:In order to make weather forecasters look good.
5. An economist is someone who gets rich explaining others why they are poor.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
An economist is someone who doesn't know what he's talking about-and make you feel it's your fault. A study of economics usually reveals that the best time to buy anything is last year.
6. When Albert Einstein died, he met three New Zealanders in the queue outside the Pearly Gates. To pass the time, he asked what were their IQs. The first replied 190. "Wonderful," exclaimed Einstein. "We can discuss the contribution made by Ernest Rutherford to atomic physics and my theory of general relativity". The second answered 150. "Good," said Einstein. "I look forward to discussing the role of New Zealand's nuclear-free legislation in the quest for world peace". The third New Zealander mumbled 50. Einstein paused, and then asked, "So what is your forecast for the budget deficit next year?" (Adapted from Economist June 13th 1992, p. 71).
7. SOCIALISM: You have two cows. State takes one and give it to someone else.
COMMUNISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and gives you milk. FASCISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and sell you milk. NAZISM: You have two cows. State takes both of them and shoot you. BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. State takes both of them, kill one and spill the milk in system of sewage. ECONOMIST: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. 8. A physicist, a chemist and an economist are stranded on an island, with nothing to eat. A can of soup washes ashore. The physicist says, "Lets smash the can open with a rock." The chemist says, "Lets build a fire and heat the can first." The economist says, "Lets assume that we have a can-opener..." Paul Samuelson
9. Conversation between two Dinosaurs:
Dinosaur #1: "How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?"
Dinosaur #2: "What is an economist?"
Dinosaur #1: "A flunkie mathematician who tries to predict the population of kangaroos in Australia. But that's not important and don't ask what a Kangaroo is."
Dinosaur #2: "I don't know, how many?"
Dinosaur #1: "10 economists and one grad student. One economist to make a model, one to run the regression, one to test the hypothesis, one to interpret the results, one to conclude how to screw it on, one grad student to screw it on, and five economists trying to fight off the dinosaurs trying to eat them.
10. Q: How many Chicago School economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb needed changing the market would have already done it.
Q: How many mainstream economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to assume the existence of latter and one to change the bulb.
Q: How many conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None; they're all waiting for the unseen hand of the market to correct the lighting disequilibrium.
Q: How many Wharton MBAs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one, if you hire me. I can actually change the light bulb by myself. As you can see from my resume, I've had extensive experience changing light bulbs in my previous positions. I've also been named to the Wharton Light Bulb list, and am presently a teaching assistant for Light Bulb Management 666. My only weakness is that I'm compulsive about changing light bulbs in my spare time.
Q: How many B-school doctoral students does it take to change a light bulb? A: I'm writing my dissertation on that topic; I should have an answer for you in about 5 years. |
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